Dreams can be elusive. Like chasing butterflies, they seem to be just a tad out of reach. Now I’ not advocating that you should literally go and chase butterflies and entrap them rather go after your God – dreams instead.

Before my injury I loved to travel and any one of my family or friends would tell you the place I’d most want to go to was India. I have been there twice, and I loved it so much. Going there was not only a dream come true but more so an answer to prayers tucked deeply into my heart and bones since I was a little girl. Both times I cried coming back to Australia and was sad when the smoke of burning plastic, spicy cinnamon and jasmine washed out of my hair.

My dream was to move to India and teach English to the poorest of the poor. But that dream was put on the back burner when my injury happened, as I went through the work cover system, and I’ve spent years in various physical rehabilitation programs. However, never once did I think ‘oh well, looks like I can’t go to India or even travel interstate’. This was because the second time I went to India was with my university lecturer – friend who had experienced a spinal injury, and I was going to assist her. I saw how she managed even though pain was strewed across her face, yet she coped and enjoyed our time there. So, when my workplace injury happened (about two years after the Indian trip with my lecturer) I knew that travelling would be possible as I had witnessed my lecturer manage it. But I must admit the seed of doubt did eventually come. A friend asked me, “I guess going to India is off the table for you because of your spinal injury?” my friend would say various forms of this question whenever we met up. One day I was a little annoyed, I didn’t know how to respond so I asked Holy Spirit to help me. We had been learning at church how Jesus often got to the core of the matter by answering a question with a question. So that’s what I did. I asked, “is God the same yesterday, today and forever?” she looked perplexed by this as she answered “Yes, He’s the same yesterday, today and every day”. I then replied, “if that is so then his calling is the same yesterday, today and forever too. So, although it might look differently to how you or I expected, I know that he has still called me to the people of India.”  But as the following weeks spun around into months and in turn years the seed of doubt took root.

This made me feel like all I’m only deserving of is the leftover, crumbling parts of life and that traveling anywhere including India wouldn’t happen. Yet, God was so good to me in that even injured and grappling with extreme pain he sent Indian people my way. In my times of prayer God took me deeper into praying and interceding for my Indian friends and India as a whole. Also, I could no longer drive and so work cover paid for taxis for me to get to appointments. There were many Indian people that I came across at that time and I felt it was a little nudge to re – remember that it is the people God calls us to and to keep a softly open heart to what God would do right then and there but also into the future. It reminds of a quote from Hinds Feet on High Places by Hannah Hurnard where it says, “The Shepherd laughed too, ‘I love doing preposterous things,’ he replied. ‘Why, I don’t know anything more exhilarating and delightful than turning weakness into strength, and fear into faith. And that which has been marred into perfection.” (Hinds Feet on High Places, Hannah Hurnard, Tyndale House, 1975) …For me it seemed preposterous and absurd that God could delight in turning my physical and emotional weaknesses into strength, faith and perfection in Him. Sometimes things look so completely dead that they can’t be revived at all. But in God there is nothing that is impossible which we see in His word and echoed in the above Hinds Feet on High Places quote. Lets, look at what His word says, “But Jesus looked at them and said, ‘With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible” Matthew 19:26. Also in Luke 1:37 states simply, “For nothing will be impossible for God.” That means there is no reason why the dead dreams and hopes deep inside my heart cannot happen. The same is for you too. No barriers you or I face are impossible for God.

 The process of surrendering and weeding out the lies I’d listened to started months ago and they had to be yanked out. As this work became more evident in my heart, I felt a new wave of hope that God could do even more than I thought or hoped for despite my physical restrictions. I now can see that I am called to travel more and that I don’t want to miss out on what He’s calling me to just because I have a disability.

In the middle of March 2024 I took a leap of faith, I flew to New South Wales to visit a friend of mine. I always said that when the process of work cover was finally over, I would go and see her. But I didn’t really expect that it would happen. I think because if I had a positive expectation, I was afraid it wouldn’t actually happen, that darn butterfly would elude me, and I’d be left with the leftovers of life once again. I realized that this sort of thinking is not healthy, and it is something I need to work on.

I prayed a lot about this dream of mine and I sensed that in God this was the right time and I needed to trust Him as He alone is totally trustworthy. So, I begun to research the website of the plane company I was thinking of going with and found it simple enough to request extra mobility help. I just had to fill out a form and attach it to my online booking and it would let them know what sort of help I required.

The help I requested was to be able to use one of their wheelchairs and to have help to physically get on the aircraft and to disembark it too. I can’t go down steps and so when I got to Newcastle the I needed a different way to get off the plane. They had already got a cherry-picking lifter thingy and I went down on that and into a wheelchair and they took me to get my luggage. Where my friend was to meet me….The actual trip there didn’t increase my pain too much as every half hour I got up to move around and when it started to get pretty bad, we were already descending to the runway. However, the trip back was excruciating physically and was grateful to get off the plane as my legs were numb and I couldn’t walk much at all. But in the sky, I felt really sad to be leaving my friend and Newcastle too but I’m just super grateful for God’s graciousness and I felt that He was proud of me and saying that He hasn’t created me to live in the leftovers of life, He’s got the whole banquet ready for me.  

Seeing as God created both dreams and butterflies why not take a step of faith?

My Child…

My child,

Release those tucked away butterfly dreams into my hand and see the beauty I will unfold before your very eyes.

I have created you to be in union with me so come and eat at the banquet table. I have a designated seat just for you, my child. So, as I offer my hand to you will you come out from underneath the table and stop hiding for you were created to be seen, known and understood.

Why not climb up here on my lap and see your disability and pain from an eternal point of view? Rest here and let me show you the dreams I have for you that will bear weight for my glory, your good and others eternity.

My love, my child please do not let the words of others stop you from pursuing the dreams you know I’ve placed deep inside your bones. Even those ones that seem so ridiculous that you keep close to your chest so that no one thinks of you as a little bit crazy. My children are often thought of as crazy, but why not dream big in me?

Love your heavenly Dad.

Tip for People With Pain and Disability…

So, this tip will be for when you travel…Always find out the how the plane company helps people with disability to access not only the plane but the airport too. I had to put a request in when I was booking letting them know that I needed a wheelchair to use at the airport and needed help boarding the plane. When I got there the lady could see that I requested help and they were very willing to help me. Just keep mentioning what you need multiple times.   

The second thing is perhaps more for women, if you are wearing a dress make sure you wear leggings or wear pants instead. I say this because when you go through security at the airport if you are in a wheelchair, you will be patted down but not only that the security personnel will use a mirror to look under the wheelchair to check for contraband.

The third tip when travelling is to make sure you have thought about how long the actual travel will take and this includes getting to the airport, flying time, disembarking and getting to your destination. That way you can plan out when you need to move and stretch as well as being ready if this traveling causes pain to spike.